The Post I Never Thought I’d Write (Part 1)

Have you ever had one of those experiences that inspires you to share something

wildly personal about yourself. Something you wonder if you will regret,

 if it will embarrass, even haunt you or that people just won’t understand?

That happened to me this evening. 

So I think it may be time to share… the story of the man that used 

to be the love of my life.

As soon as I typed that last line my chest got a little tight, I actually panicked a bit.

But then reminding myself, that I did not have to press “publish” it was if

I had been given an instant antidote for my anxiety. 

I’ll call him Grey. When Grey first asked me out I was going through an incredibly

terrible time in my life. I resolved I would not let anyone in until I felt better

about my situation and knew myself to be strong enough to stand alone.

I declined his invitation to meet several times, telling him that my life was a mess

and I needed to get myself together. As a last resort I recounted a story I knew

would drive off any guy that had intentions for only one thing.

He paused and said, genuinely, “I am so sorry you’re going through this.”

I could hear he meant it, so I agreed to meet him for a drink. 

I did not go through my typical pre-date routine. I was wearing jeans,

a long sleeved t-shirt and very little makeup. I wasn’t expecting much.

When I got out of my car and our eyes met, my breath caught and suddenly me,

the writer, could not even procure the words to say hello.

What happens next?